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*Note: Messages have been edited for grammar only.
I’m a twenty-something virgin and have never been in a relationship let alone been kissed. If I can call myself, I’ll call me self “sexually active”. I always have the urge to go masturbate, which I do but only in the shower (with no penetration involve) and if I can, I will stay in there forever. I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t do something about it but at the same time dirty thinking about wanting to find a man to do it with. I want more than what I can give myself but I don’t want to “have to” find a man to be satisfied. So my question is, even if I’m afraid, should I buy myself a dildo to penetrate myself to give me the satisfaction I crave?
Dear Sexual Virgin,
There are many things to consider here. How important is it to go to the one you want to spend your life with as a “true” virgin? Many want to go to their spouse, untouched. However, if this isn’t an issue with you and if you find yourself with someone who wants to know they’ve been the only one to be with you, how comfortable will you feel telling them you’ve taken your virginity with a dildo? NOW, that all being set aside, I’d say go for it. I believe virginity is in the heart more than your body. I also don’t believe you should be pressured into finding someone just so you lose your virginity to someone besides a dildo. I most of all believe it is a person’s choice to find pleasure with sex toys, shower heads, etc. I honestly think the ability to tell someone how to please you, comes from knowing your body intimately.
If you are considering penetration, but are ultimately looking for pleasure, I’d recommend a vibrator. It is specifically meant for stimulating the clitoris, but you can also slide it up inside as well. I’d start out with a smaller diameter one to ease yourself into penetration. As you become more comfortable with your body and pleasing yourself, you can move up to a dildo and use the dildo for penetration and the vibrator for stimulation. They also have a toy called the “Rabbit” that is a dildo, with bunny ears that vibrate against the clitoris as you’re being penetrated.
There are SO many toys out there. Research them, try them, enjoy them. You can never have too many sex toys. 🙂 Just take your time. You have nobody to please or pressuring you, except yourself.
I have a confession. Watching porn is not always good but I just can’t stop myself from watching it. I don’t think I’m an addict but at least once a week my mind goes to it. I just can’t help myself.
Dear Holding Back,
Watching porn can be a great way to find sexual pleasure and relief. It’s also a great way to learn a couple techniques. However, never forget…porn is a movie, it’s not real life. As long as your porn watching isn’t causing issues with your job, loved one or your ability to connect with a real person, then I say enjoy it!
*NOTE: Respectful comments are welcomed, cruel ones are NOT and will be immediately deleted. You can disagree, while remaining respectful and kind. This segment is about helping people, not destroying them.
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Much Love! ♥
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*Disclaimer. I am not a professional. My advice is strictly an opinion based upon my own experiences and beliefs. If you feel your problem needs a professional answer, PLEASE contact one in your area! ♥